The smelly-feet-ghost and other short stories

As I've mentioned before, my in-laws are quite peculiar people. My father-in-law came to Brazil a little over 25 years ago, he's from Taiwan. And as any Taiwanese, he has his own way of seeing life and the world around him... his Portuguese is only a little better than his social conduct and mind you - he doesn't speak Portuguese that well.
My mother-in-law is an uneducated farm girl. And even though she tries to read sometimes and learn about different things (she is knowledgeable in many things), some things she thinks and says are beyond comprehension. She can be very skeptical sometimes and question things - as everyone should -, but she can also be very gullible.

They lived in a very old house for many years and, truth be told, the place was falling apart. Since I met my husband I had been telling them to move out of there and when I came back to Brazil, one year ago, they finally decided to leave that place (I guess because they hoped we would live with them).

Although we decided not to share a house with them, I still helped them find the house where they now live.
Long story short, they loved it, but one day we while were visiting, my mother-in-law said she was worried about something.

The house was wonderful and much better than the previous one, but there was *one* thing bothering her.

Mother-in-law: My computer desk is right underneath the stairway, and sometimes while I'm sitting here, I'll feel a very strong smelly feet scent.
Me: Oh. What's going on? Do you have any boxes there?
MIL: No! I took everything out, there's nothing there...
Me: So where do you think the smell is coming from?
MIL: I can only think of one explanation for this... I think this house is haunted and there's a smelly-feet-ghost who lives underneath the stairway!!!

Yes, this was the only logical explanation she could find... true story. More coming soon.

The gift of silence

Anyone who knows me knows what a struggle it is for me to get through each day here in Brazil. Or at least they've heard me b•tch about it once or twice, in any given conversation.

One of the things I've been thinking about a lot lately (or ever since I moved here) is exactly this - the silence around my house, or lack thereof.
People think of their homes as a place to find solace from the stressful lives most of us lead - job, traffic, gossip, broken hearts... (and BELIEVE ME, whoever lives in Sao Paulo needs a place to find peace of mind and heart). Our home is supposed to be that private and quiet place where we can just be...

When I came back I told my husband that it would be hard getting used to sleeping with the street noise... cars and buses... but nothing compares to my neighbors.

Since I moved in, not a day goes by that I'm not disturbed by this. Don't people have any awareness??? I know we live in apartments, but I've lived in apartments before and have never had such noisy neighbors!!! It's like they have no respect or regard for anyone else.

It is 2.44am and they're playing loud music and hosting some friends. They're all laughing and screaming (yes, deliberately screaming "woohoo's" and "yippie's" and "OH YEAH's" for no reason at all, other than to be obnoxious to the 5 other apartments surrounding them) and they're dancing and jumping in the living room - which just so happens to be right above mine.

I've never made a complaint to the administration because I know all other neighbors do it and nothing happens. Every once in a while they circulate a memo saying "we've had complaints about the noise, please keep it down or we'll have to place a disturbance fee", and that's it.
I've thought of going up there and talking directly to them, but I don't wanna be the bitchy neighbor that knocks on their door to complain... besides I'm most afraid of retaliation. I don't doubt that they'd make it worse to piss me off.

I've called the police and they told me they couldn't do anything about it and that I should call the City Hall. Did that and they told me they couldn't do anything about it and that I could call the police. So I really don't know what else I can do to have some quiet and peace in my own home.

Need milk for babies

It is known all around the world that Brazil is kind of a poor country. If you go out on the street you're likely to bump into a few beggars every day.

Beggars annoy me (I guess they annoy everyone, actually), but I get specially annoyed with lying beggars, and today I came across one which has just gone up to the top of my list of ingenious beggars in second place, just behind another one I had an encounter with some years ago. I thought I'd share the stories with you.

As I said, ingenious beggar #2 happened today.
I was in the subway on my way home, and this girl, who seems to be 18-19 years old, walks in pushing an old stroller all covered up, no one can see inside it. She's wearing jeans, sandals and a black Ecko t-shirt, that seemed to be brand new (you know how black washes away). In one hand she had a bunch of slips of paper, the other, a Quicksilver bag.
She starts handing out these slips of paper to everyone in the carriage, and I'm thinking "She might be selling something" and looked away so she wouldn't come bother me... even so, she left a slip of paper on my lap and poked me to look at it. I did. The paper read:

I really need money to buy milk and food for my little brothers, so anything you give me will help.

Really??? How about I give you some advice??? Go to school, get a job and stop spending money with branded clothes!!!

[ just for reference, here in Brazil an Ecko t-shirt costs around R$80-100BRL (≈$50-60usd), which I think is pretty expensive for a t-shirt; quicksilver is also a pretty expensive brand, since it's imported. ]

Okey, ingenious beggar #1 is ingenious!
T'is the year 2001, and Brazil is broadcasting a soup opera that made a lot of success and touched a lot of people's heart, since it talked about a girl who had leukemia. (the plot of the soup opera is very much like "My Sister's Keeper")
It was kinda "trendy" to talk about leukemia, and bone marrow transplant, and there was a scene where the girl is shaving her head that was very emotional, so everyone talked about it.

One more time, there I was taking the train home, this was just a couple of days after the episode where the doctor told the mom her daughter would need a bone marrow transplant aired, and this woman in rags walks in carrying a chubby 2 year old baby. She stands in the middle of the carriage and starts her speech, at the top of her lungs:

Guys, I'm here today, because I need your help. You see, my daughter, that I'm carrying in my arms, is sick. She lost her bone marrow! When I noticed it, I took her to the doctor, and he said it costs a lot of money to get her a new one, so GUYS, I NEED YOUR HELP. HELP ME BUY A NEW BONE MARROW FOR MY SICK DAUGHTER.

Again, may I help with some advice? Try selling your tv, maybe that should cover the cost of all new bones she will ever lose in her life.

Here's a video of the so famous scene when the girl gets her head shaved.