Sunday, March 25, 2012

I believe in a thing called love

I got back in touch with a dear old friend about a year ago. (facebook *is* wonderful sometimes.)
Since we last saw each other he got married and had 2 beautiful children, and was very happy and telling me how amazing his family was. A few weeks ago we talked again and he told me he's getting a divorce.

I love my husband and I make sure I tell him that at least 10 or 100 times every day. And he does the same. We're not at all one of those couples with all the PDA or always writing on each other's facebook wall how much we love each other and how great our love is etc etc, because we both think that's very unnecessary, and that does not - at all - mean we don't have a solid and loving relationship.
After a bit more than 3 years together we have all the intimacy a couple should have - and a lot more than what's acceptable, but what are you gonna do? -, we still have our romantic moments, we've sailed stormy seas and got past it together and what I personally think is the best... pretty much every night when we go to bed to sleep, we just lay there and talk for a while about everything and nothing. And we make each other laugh A LOT with the silliest things. Seriously, sometimes I wonder what would other people think of us.

So what I mean is, I'm sure about my feelings for my husband and I'm pretty sure he is too and we have no intention of ever not being the annoyingly perfect couple that we are.
But whenever I hear stuff like that, just makes me so sad and a bit angry because I *do* believe in such corny things as eternal love, but hey - maybe my friend did too, and now he's getting a divorce. It just makes me feel so cynical and skeptic.

I guess... no one gets married thinking "Hey, we can always get a divorce 5 years from now!",  so we just have to believe in this thing called love and try to power through all the rough patches together, for better or for worse... that's how our parents and their parents used to do, right?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Adventure ahead!

Today I left my house for the first time in 2 weeks.

It was the most stupid outing - I needed to go to the hospital and get x-rays of my back -, but I'm feeling so excited to get out of these walls, I actually decided to "get ready" for it. I got some of my makeup gear out (that hasn't been used in over 2 weeks) and pampered myself a little. My husband thought it was funny that I put on makeup to go to the hospital, but hey!, this is the most exciting thing that happened to me this month.

These past few days made me think of how many small, simple things we take for granted. Mobility is one of them. We're usually so bummed each morning that we have to get out of bed to go to work that we don't realize how lucky we are to be able to get out of bed.

Oh, yes. I was on the track to a steady recovery last week, planning on doing my outing on Saturday, but on Friday I choked over homemade Korean BBQ and coughed... that was enough to bring me back to square 1, couldn't move, couldn't sit, couldn't stand, walk... right after it happened, my husband laid me in bed and I started crying.
He thought I was crying from the pain, but it was actually mere frustration. I cried because I thought "Great. Is this what my life is gonna be like from now on? In bed, in pain, afraid to cough or sneeze?"

Two more days in constant need of help to get out of bed, to walk, to go to the bathroom... I couldn't even sit, he had to hold me up when I went to the bathroom. It's a frustrating situation and belittling to say the least... and the moment I managed to sit up on the bed by myself... triumph. It was such a small thing, that we instinctively do every day... and we don't realize that it can be a struggle for other people.

Friday, March 9, 2012

I cracked my back.

Yes, and that's the reason I haven't checked on my blog - or any other blog - for the past week.

I've had this problem for a while now, but last Saturday my bad back finally decided to make a strong statement by leaving me immobile.

It was quite a pathetic accident, I must say - I was baking a chocolate cake, which didn't even turn out to be *that* awesome. As I was putting the cake into the oven I felt it. And then I fell on the floor and couldn't move anymore.
I managed to crawl to the living room to get my phone and call my husband, who came home to a wife, in the middle of the living room floor on her hands and knees. But then again, I think this might be every man's dream.
Only after he saw me there was no fun... he had to help me get up, lay me down in bed and luckily I have an acupuncturist for a father-in-law. I gotta say this. My in-laws are not very helpful or very nice people, but I have to be thankful for this, him being the one person who was able to get me to move again was a life saver. I guess, of all the flaws I can accuse him of, this one thing should make up for all the rest.

Anyways, coming back from NOT MOVING AT ALL is a slow recovery, but now I'm already able to get out of bed on my own, walk on my own, go to the bathroom... hell I even lifted a chair today!!!

I never thought I'd see the day this would actually happen to me, but I guess it serves me to open my eyes and get it in my head for once and for all that I do need to take better care of myself, my diet, lose weight, exercise... ugh. Recovery is just beginning and it will be a long and hard way.